The Bigger Game

splat...
there I was in little pieces
thrown up against the wall

watching closely
the viscera would contain clues
of who I was
of what I was to say
and why
it was worthy of being said.

all I had to do was stomach the mess
pick through the sticky parts
clean them like mamma's people
cleaned parts of unsightly,
smelly things I could never eat

but they kept us all alive,

watching closely
I could see my history
and my future
slide down the wall
and,
if I wasn't
careful
be washed away
after all the savory meat
was taken
and
neatly packaged,

be washed away
like so much waste
when it was
all I was
all I could be

gone
if I wouldn't, couldn't say it
messy as it was
it was still me.

Still me,
here in all my flawed glory
The man my mamma wished me to be

Most times,

But I ain’t perfect, I ain’t that nice a guy;

I’m a new pornographer at times
spreading incendiary devices called words,
called sexy, big-titted ideas of new world order
new world peace,
and I fuck order
to champion disorder.

I champion people without a voice,
dead brown people walking around in white face

Dead white people walking around in minstrel,
wanna be black,
wanna be cool face

Champion nerdy people, champion people thinking they ain’t need no champion

dead ass muthafukka’s walking around thinking they livin’
dead ass muthafukka’s walking around thinking they givin’
givin something of value to the world cause they got theirs
got theirs
and you,
you got yours to get
but fuck you for now
fuck you ‘til you get to where they at…

I am stepping up and I will champion you

Why?

Cause if it don’t take more than you to do it,
you ain’t playin the bigger game
and it’s time to stop playin so small,
it’s time to play beyond our potential,
it’s time to say
fuck the self help book

and be somebody
else’s help book…

So I watch closely the path I walk
and the way I walk it,
I look at my history
and I see my future in it,

I look at you
and see the mirror held up to me
and will always know
that there are still ways
that I have
yet
to measure up

Say it,
it is worthy of being said…
Be it
Power

Say it,
it is worthy of being said…
Be it
Love

Say it
It is worthy of being said
Be it
Peace